Poop-gate


Luke has aroutine. A routine that he attempted to get me used too for the last five years. The hallmark of this routine is the morning walk.  A long one is nice, but a minimal walk around the block is required.  The potty run which is the shortest of walks is only done when his human isn’t feeling well.

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Our standard walk takes us down the street up one block and past a lawyer’s office.  This is Luke’s favorite place to relieve himself. It isn’t a statement on his feeling on the legal profession. They have the best bushes.  Luke loves pooping in bushes. They have big ones, little ones and fat ones.  It is doggy heaven. Most of the time, he just sticks his head in the bush practicing if I can’t see you, you can’t see me philosophy of most politicians.

This morning was no exception.  As many dog owners know, you quickly become intimately familiar with the quality and quantity of dog’s excrement, their favorite places to go and frequently at which they need to go.  Today was a two-poop morning.  He went first right by the apartments at the end of the street.  This is his second favorite spot.  I did my duty and picked it up.  Luke has no opinion on this practice. Everyone is into different things.  Some people like cats after all. (Luke by the way loves cats and wishes we had more.)

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Mom, this kitten is trying to eat me.  

He did have an opinion on me walking back towards the house. Our walk was not done. I however was trying to deposit the refuse bag in the dumpster so I did not have walk with around the entire block with it.  I hate doing that even more than I hate picking up warm gooey poop.   Once we cleared up this misunderstanding, we proceed.

It was a beautiful morning. Not too hot, not too sticky. The sun wasn’t shining directly in my eyes.  No random dogs or people came up to us.

Time for the second poop, which was not so much a solid as a semi-liquid demonstrating that someone had been eating kitten food again. It was in a bush, I was out of bags and there was no real way to contain it so I was prepared to move on. Then a woman in an eggshell colored SUV, stopped, rolled her window down and declared that she hoped that I was going to pick it up.

I waved the empty bag holder and explained in an equally passive aggressive tone that I was fresh out.  She mutters back and me and mutter shouted at her.  I blame my behavior on a lack of coffee and three and a half hours of sleep.

This marks the second time that someone has told me to pick up Luke’s leavings.  The first time like this time, it was a two poop walk and what he left was not solid. The first time, I went back to the person’s house and picked it up.  No, that’s not true, I drove there with Luke to take care of the problem. The first time is why I have one of those poop bag containers attached to the leash.  My immediate reaction to this incident was to be cranky. I wanted to rush on to Facebook and complain about her rudeness.

Then I decided to write about it.

Not to shame the woman, she was passive aggressive and I am sure that she was unhappy about being at work 20 minutes before everyone else this morning. We all have our issues.   But to thank her.

Thank you, Passive-Aggressive Eggshell lady for reminding me that I am member of a pretty awesome community and that means that I have to take care of my responsibilities and duties to the community.  Picking up poop is just one of those duties.  Taking in my trash cans and maintaining a safe vehicle are others.  Along with being an informed voter and paying taxes.  And there isn’t always a good way to address someone when they are violating community standards or norms.  Often when you do, you are made out to be the villain.  I don’t think you are a villain.  Everyone needs some level of accountability to the community.  Thank you for reminding me of mine.  Seriously, thank you.

Returning to the topic of poop, have you called your Congressman lately.  Here’s a link to help you.  All you have to do is type in your address and violia, you have a handly list of your representatives.

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